How to be Howard

1. Be Chinese

2. Be Awesome

3. Tell girls they are dumb

4. Try to learn every single instrument on the planet

5. Don't talk

6. Tell another Chinese to stop being a fob

7. Drink Coca-cola with chopsticks

8. Drink any beverage out of a gravy bowl

9. Eat a California Roll stuffed with Hamburgers

10. Give Peace signs to everyone you know

11. End all conversations with "what a cornball"

12. Get Shark Teeth

13. Never buy a CD

14. Have a gold computer with wood trim

15. Brag about how you have a gold computer with wood trim

16. Own a cell phone created in September of 1907

17. Go cry in a corner because you are emo

18. Own chinese candy dated circa 330 B.C.

19. Just kidding about #17....Howard listens to Al Gore's losing Presidential Campaign tapes of 2000